Epilogue - May 6, 2021

On Tuesday, 4th of May, I got a call just from Transplus, a gender identity service that I registered with a while ago. They asked if I could make an appointment with their clinician in 2 days which would coincide with my birthday. I told them that it would be my birthday and they asked if I would rather be doing other things. I had been waiting to see a gender identity clinic for 2 years at that point. This was a good birthday

A lot of my work is kind of like journaling. I like to document things that are happening in my life. As you may know my essay, On the Emptiness of My Birth Certificate, was published in the May-June 2020 issue of The Funambulist. It discusses several events that coincide with May 6, my birthday. One of the events was when I came out as trans to my parents on May 6, 2019 which also coincided with the suspension of a death penalty for queers in the country I grew up in. Two years later I get another amazing present: a testosterone prescription. I have weird luck and good things always happen on my birthday. But I have to say these little blessings are bittersweet- they are good things that counteract bad things after all.

My birthday has a really different meaning to me now. Starting hormone replacement therapy on my birthday is like redoing the moment of my birth decades later. The statement “It’s a girl!” will finally be corrected. My physiology will begin to reflect how I feel in myself, and most of the pain and discomfort will be alleviated. People will see me the way I see myself. Layers of gendered bondage will be discarded from now on. I will be free and maybe feel the comfort that most have enjoyed since birth one day.

The morning of my birthday my partner and I went to a local cafe to get coffee. The cook from behind the counter asked my partner if the lad (me) was going to school. He was very surprised to find that I was not 15 and that my partner was not my guardian. I’ll take this as my “It's a boy!” moment.

May 6, 2021- Day 1 on T